Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living | Above all, my brothers, do not swear–not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.  James 5:12

Anyone who has ever written anything for publication was undoubtedly amused when they read the quote of the actress Alicia Silverstone, who was commenting on the film in which she starred, “Clueless.”  The British-based Plain English Campaign has awarded her their Foot in Mouth Award for saying, “I think that [the film] ‘Clueless’ was very deep.  I think it was deep in the way that it was very light.  I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”  Right!  Whatever that means.

When I am in China I often stay at a Chinese business hotel where guests are invited “to visit our dining room which seats 400, who will be barbecued personally by our chef.”  That’s one I always avoid.

“The trouble with words,” said Dave Garroway, is that “it’s not what you mean, it’s what they mean.”   I agree.  Before you say something, you are the master of your words, but once you’ve said it, they become your master, and critics aren’t concerned with what you meant, only what you said.  Any politician knows that words are exacting masters.

Jesus said, “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Mathew 12:37).  My friend Norm Wright said that when two people talk, at least six possible messages can get through:

What you meant to say.
What you actually said.
What the other person hears.
What the other person thinks he hears.
What the other person says about what you say.
What you think the other person said about what you said.

“I know you believe you understand what you think I said,” is the caption under a cartoon showing two people talking, continuing, “but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

Fewer words generally make for greater clarity.  Answering “Yes” or “No” leaves little room for ambiguity, but seldom do politicians come up with such short answers, especially when they don’t want to give a direct answer.  So you end up scratching your head, asking, “What did that person really say?”  It is little wonder that Scripture says, “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no, or you will be condemned” (James 5:12).

The British pastor William Barclay possessed a unique ability to be clear and concise, and he believed that he learned this following a conversation he had with an old Scottish woman who was a member of his church.  When the old lady was ill, he visited her in her home.  Before he left, the woman said, “When you’ve been here, talking to me, and sometimes putting up a wee prayer, it’s been good, and I’ve understood every word you’ve said.  But, man, when you’re in yon pulpit on the Sabbath, you’re awa’ o’er me head!”

The American President Woodrow Wilson was said to be a man of few words.  When his wife was sick one Sunday morning, he went to church by himself.  When he got home, his wife asked, “What did the pastor talk about?”  With one word he replied, “Sin.”  “Well, asked his wife, what did he say about it.”  “He was agin’ it,” replied Wilson, and a hundred thousand women exclaimed, “Just like a man!”

Gender differences, cultural differences, and certainly linguistic differences make simple communication difficult, but not impossible.  You’ve got to work at it, and when you ask questions for clarification, restate things, and respond to that puzzled look on the face of the person you are addressing, you can communicate effectively.

Effective communication is work but it’s worth the time and effort.

Resource reading:  Matthew 3:1-12