Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living | Man born of woman is of few days and full of trouble.  He springs up like a flower and withers away; like a fleeting shadow, he does not endure.  Job 14:1-2

“Dear Dr. Sala, where was God when my dream died?  I thought I could trust Him.  Now I’m not sure!”  No, you were not the one who wrote those words, but chances are those thoughts have at some time or another risen from your troubled heart, whether you voiced them aloud or just thought them.

A friend of mine faced that issue when his wife needed surgery and the doctors said, “There is a chance that she might not make it.”  She didn’t. “People told me that the Lord had revealed to them that she would be OK,” he later recounted with anger.  His dream died when he buried his wife.

Ruth’s dream died after her husband took retirement, and the extended vacation that they had planned for years never happened.  “If only I had not asked him to dig the garden,” she lamented, thinking that it was the exertion of spading the roses that caused his heart to fail.

The death of a dream is never an easy thing to deal with, especially when we think that God in His might and power could have made our dreams come true.  Long ago, Job struggled with this issue.  He lost his children, his home, his business, and the love of his wife, who said, “Job, just curse God and die!”  His dream was shattered.  But he neither cursed God nor blamed him for the death of his dream.

When your dream dies, you can hold on to God and find Him a refuge and strength when your world comes tumbling down.  How do you do it?

Guideline #1:  Vent your emotions without having to place blame for what happened on anyone.  The doctor made a mistake.  The drunk shouldn’t have been on the road.  The prescription should have been in a safe spot.  The death of a dream doesn’t have to be the end of your life.  Harsh words hurled in anger won’t restore your loss.  Revenge is shallow payment for seeing your dream wither and die.

Guideline #2:  Strive to hold on to what you know is true.  No, you didn’t plan on what happened.  Nobody did.  The fact that God doesn’t shield us from the bad things that happen in a broken world doesn’t mean we are not loved, are not esteemed, are not valued in His sight.  Job cried out, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” (Job 13:15).  That’s tough faith.  It was a decision to hold on to what he knew is true–that God is a faithful God who walks with us through the dark hour.

Guideline #3: Turn to God instead of turning on God.  “When I am afraid, I will trust in you” said David.  No, others don’t know the depths of your pain or loss.  I have heard literally hundreds of people including pastors and bereavement counselors say, “I never knew how tough it was until I had to go through this experience myself.”  It is also true that you never taste of the grace of God so deeply as when you face the darkest night of your soul.

Guideline #4: Focus on the future, looking beyond your dream to the reality of heaven.  OK, you missed that six-weeks-on-the-road vacation you had talked about for years.  You won’t be able to buy that new car because your stock collapsed. Your dream won’t be realized, but at some point you have to look beyond that to the reality of spending eternity in the presence of God with the one you love.

When our dreams ebb and fade, God is there and we can find His presence which sustains and strengthens and helps us to go on.  Thank God you can hold on to Him when your dream dies.

Resource reading: Job 14: 1-22