Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living | I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies. Song of Solomon 6:3, KJV

“Marriage,” said Sociologist Jessie Bernard, “is the best of human states and the worst, and it will continue to be. And that is why, though its future in some form or other is as assured as anything can be, this future is as equivocal as its past. The demands that men and women make on marriage will never be fully met; they cannot be.” What the author of the book, The Future of Marriage, is saying is that marriages are here to stay, but the changing roles of men and women today result in varying degrees of frustration as well as fulfillment.

An unknown pundit put it like this, “Marriage is a condition in which a woman never gets what she expects and a man never expects what he gets.” Few would deny today that the roles of men and women are changing for better or for worse; nevertheless, there are some positive steps which can be taken to insure that your marriage does not go on the rocks, and that is the subject of this commentary. Here are five guidelines that constitute a guaranteed policy of insurance protection.

Guideline #1: Communicate with your mate to prevent your marriage from becoming a stalemate. The lack of communication is marriage’s number one problem. When couples talk about communication problems they usually are saying different things. Women complain there is not enough communication; men, that there is too much.

Guideline #2: Consult each other when it comes to spending the family’s income. No matter how much or how little you have, money follows communication as the number two problem.

Guideline #3: Develop priorities together. A growing problem in today’s homes is the working wife and mother. The complaint is either that the wife wants to work outside the home to bring in additional income, usually much needed income, and the husband does not want her away from home; or else, that she does work and the husband is not happy because of the condition of things at home. It is a proven fact that the chances of a broken home increase in direct proportion to the amount of money that a wife makes. What really is important?

Dr. Urie Bronfenbrenner, a noted authority on family living, sees a definite relationship between juvenile delinquency and troubled behavior among children, and an absent mother whose presence is taken from the home because of her job.

Guideline #4: Keep your marriage warm and vibrant by enriching your lives with a spiritual dimension. A Drexel University psychologist, after a 20-year study, says that the recipe for successful family living includes: hard work, strong family ties, a concern for others and deep religious convictions. Do you want your marriage to succeed? Then work hard, play hard and pray together. You can count on it: A family that prays together, stays together. Worshipping together in a church that believes the Bible, praying together, and reaching out to a loving heavenly Father makes a tremendous difference when it comes to the success of your family.

Guideline #5: This is perhaps the most important guideline and ties all the guidelines together. Make a commitment to the future of your marriage and home. Anybody can quit; anybody can walk out; anybody can take offense and jump the ship; but if you are willing to make a deep commitment to the future of your marriage and home, you will be much more prone to work at making your marriage a good one.

Resource reading: 1 Corinthians 13.