Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

 

Have you ever looked at a baby and commented, “He looks exactly like his daddy!”   And why not?  He is the genetic offspring, a chip off the old block, the spitting image of his father, right?  There’s more to it than that, so believes a new theory posed by Dr. Nicholas Christenfeld, a psychologist.  His theory holds that the father confers a genetic trait—face genes that make the baby’s face resemble his.  “While a mother can be quite sure that the baby is hers no matter what it looks like, the father cannot,” says Dr. Christenfeld.  He continues, “It should then be to a baby’s advantage to look like the father, to encourage paternal investment.”

In a study reported by Nature magazine, Christenfeld had 122 people match photos of children ages 1, 10, and 20 to that of their father.  Matching the photos at ages 10 and 20 was rare, but people could consistently match the photos of the one year olds—both sons and daughters—to their fathers.

While it is uncertain just how much that research project cost and what it actually proves, it shouldn’t come as a great shock to you to learn that it is not uncommon at all for the offspring to resemble the father.  How the resemblance continues in life may well be a reflection of habits and learning as well as heredity.

A child learns half of everything he knows by age three, three-fourths by age seven—so say authorities on behavioral learning. This, of course, doesn’t apply to the total amount of knowledge which a person acquires in life, but to the limits of behavior, the framing of an understanding of right and wrong, and a knowledge of what life is about.

The gift of a baby is a marvelous blessing.  To see that little child begin to develop, to think, to learn, to respond, knowing that you are the one who stands between that child and disaster is an awesome as well as challenging responsibility.

Like father, like son, we often say, meaning that the offspring is reproducing the behavior or lifestyle of the father.  Dads today who are constantly separated from their offspring because of their work are missing a large part of the teaching-learning process.  It is no wonder that in rural areas where children grow up on farms, learning to work with their parents, the kids have far fewer problems growing up than where dads disappear on a commuter train before dawn and get home late at night, or are simply not there because Mom and Dad couldn’t get along.

The influence of a father in the life of a youngster is profound. “OK,” you say, “I agree, but that doesn’t change my situation.  What can I do to maximize my influence in the life of my child?”

Try these guidelines for starters.

Guideline #1:  Be there when you can.  If you have a choice of working late at the office, or taking it home, opt for working at home.  Just being there makes a difference.

Guideline #2:  Think through your priorities.  Wise is the dad who includes the effect on his kids in the equation of a job change.  There are no second chances for some things which include watching your son play soccer or catching his first fish.

Guideline #3:  Decide what is important. Putting your family first means your job comes second.  And those who do prioritize their lives still make it to the top and manage to cover the mortgage.  If Jesus were alive today I believe He would say, ‘What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the company presidency and lose his family? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his family?”

Resource reading: Ephesians 6:1-19