Speaker: Bonnie Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living

Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:2-4

 

For generations, the care of the elderly has been the responsibility of the extended family but, the family structure has changed so much that social scientists are wondering who is going to take care of the growing army of senior adults without children or families who care enough to provide them with support when they can no longer care for themselves.

An entire field of study has developed to analyze this matter of caring, and what is being discovered may not be as surprising as you think.  Social scientists have determined that almost everyone cares quite deeply for objects and people in childhood.  We may first care about what scientists call transitional objects, such as a soft blanket, which make babies feel secure or our loving mothers. But after about age five, that ability to care is either diminished or nourished by the environment in which he grows up and the example of one’s peers.

Parents who care about each other tend to leave a caring imprint on their children, but kids who are unwanted or grow up in homes where there’s a great deal of anger soon lose the ability to care. How important are families when it comes to the ability to produce individuals who care about others?  A lot, say the experts!  Parents still come in ahead of peers in studies that evaluate how a child learns to empathize with and care for others.

The truth is, it’s not natural for us to care about others, says Mark Hall of Thriving Family Magazine.  “Humanity is… self-centered and greedy, and teens are no exception. We need to recognize that the real issue here is the heart. If we simply try to change our teens’ behavior, we’re not really helping our kids to draw closer to Jesus; we’re just filling their time.”

In teaching care for others, Hall points out, we often turn to Philippians 2:3-4:  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  But we skip over verses 1 and 2, which read:  “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.”

Caring is something which is caught, not taught, but if it is taught, it’s the power of example which becomes the motivating teacher. Caring is an action that’s lived out. “When I was a boy,” Hall explained, “I didn’t have a conversation with my parents about what it means to care for others. All I had to do was watch my dad. He always made a point to speak to people, to ask questions. After a while, I realized he just cared for people. My dad consistently modeled Jesus in big and small ways.”

Long ago, God stressed the fact that the home provides the great teaching and learning environment when he instructed parents to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul and mind, and then to let His word sink deep in their own hearts.  Then, He instructed that these principles be lived out in the home so that children would embrace them and perpetuate them.  Read Deuteronomy 6 in your Bible and notice how the ability to care begins a generation before it is put into practice. Deuteronomy 6:7 exhorts parents to impress what is important to God, upon your children.  Your care for Grandma and Grandpa today can impact generations to com.   It’s never too late to model care and concern for the needs of others.

Resource reading: Deuteronomy 6: 1-9