See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. Hebrews 12:15

“Nothing is more unforgiving than unforgiveness,” writes Beth Moore.  It prematurely ages, makes us sick, sore, mean-spirited, and self-absorbed.  Makes us unpleasant to be around.  Our bodies turn into vessels of bottled-up bitterness, spewing on everybody.”[1]

Pretty unattractive, right?  Why do human beings—even humans who are followers of Jesus, struggle endlessly with unforgiveness? What stops us from forgiving?

When I refuse to forgive, I am really saying:

I am not willing to give up my anger.  To this God says, “Go ahead and be angry…but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry.” (Exodus 4:26 The Message) “The Lord will execute judgment,” promises Isaiah 66:16, so, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31).  When I refuse to give my anger over to God, I’m sinning and deluding myself that my relationship with God will continue unaffected.

But when I won’t forgive, I am probably afraid.  I think:  God allowed this wrong to happen to me.  I need to protect myself from this person!  Scripture says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18). Now none of us are yet made perfect in love.  That’s the ongoing transformation God offers to each of us. He offers His fear-banishing love, and we learn to live it one day at a time, and one offer of forgiveness at a time.

 

Resource reading: 1 John 4:7-21

[1] Moore, Beth [bethmoore@lpm]. Unforgiveness. 3 August 2021, https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHTYDxneCw/.