A wife prayed,

Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my husband,
Love to forgive him,
And patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,
I’ll beat him to death.

We laugh, but I’m afraid that’s how many a wife would like to deal with her marriage problems.

Let me share a few thoughts about men that I think are important.

1. Men have fragile egos. They don’t want us to know that, but it’s true. Your husband may be an executive who directs the work of 2000 employees. But he still has times when he is uncertain of his abilities, and his braggadocio is merely a cover up for a lack of self-confidence.
2. Your words have power to build him up or to pierce his heart. Why are we so hesitant to compliment our husbands and point out their strengths? Probably we’re afraid they’ll become egotistical. But actually, knowing that you think highly of him is important to him.
3. Sex is very significant to your husband. One of the reasons for this is that performance of any kind is central to how he sees himself. So it follows that his ability to perform in bed is linked to his self-esteem.
4. Remember men and women resolve issues different ways. Let’s say you’ve just had an argument. How does he want to end the argument? With sex, of course. What you want is real repentance and a promise that “It ain’t gonna’ happen again!” Until then, you are in no mood for intimacy. Yet, we need to recognize the different needs of each other in marriage.

My favorite verse when it comes to marriage is one we taught our kids as soon as they were able to memorize–Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.“ Those three attitudes–kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness–can make a tremendous difference in our marriages. May God help us to offer grace during the challenging times!