Speaker: Dr. Harold J. Sala | Series: Guidelines For Living

Start children off in the way that they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.  Proverbs 22:6

 

Have people lost the ability to care about other people because they are overwhelmed with personal needs?  Have we become so concerned with our own welfare and importance that others don’t count?  Yes, and no!  That we have become preoccupied with self today is without question, but the ability to care is by no means something lost in the press of life today.

One thing is certain, however.  Whatever ability we are born with to care about others is either nourished by the environment in which we grow up or stifled by the example of our parents and peers.

Psychologists have studied this matter of caring, especially as it relates to families, and what they have discovered is surprising to some.

One study which was concerned with the issue of how children learn to care and whether or not children are born with the ability to care, focused on 71 preschool boys and girls.  One by one the little toddlers were taken into a room where a baby was seated in a chair or on the floor with the child’s mother off to the side, reading.  Other than to say, “hello,” the mother was not to interact with the older child.  It didn’t take long for most of the children to begin interacting with the baby.  Most of the children immediately went over to look at the baby.  About one‑ third of them immediately drew close, smiled and offered the child a toy.  Half of them got down face‑to‑face with the infant, and about one in six touched the infant caringly.

How much more caring were girls than boys?  According to Dr. Gail Melson, professor of Child Development and Family Studies at Purdue University, who conducted the study, “Surprisingly, there were no differences between boys and girls in how much they looked at, touched, or interacted with the baby.  Prior to age five,” says this expert, “little boys and girls are equally interested in babies and their care.  They begin to diverge around that age.”  From age five up, males tend to care less about people; females about the same.

When it comes to animals, however, that distinction doesn’t appear to hold true.  Both males and females maintain the ability to be sensitive and caring for pets and animals.

Perhaps you are thinking, “Who cares?”  “What difference does it make?”  Social scientists, people who are concerned with human behavior, are very much interested for several reasons:  (1)  The growing amount of inhumanity and cruelty we are seeing today as people seem to be losing the ability to care for each other, and (2)  The growing number of single adults, well into their eighties, who require extended care, people who are unable to take care of themselves, and there will never be sufficient institutions to provide care for these people: it must be the responsibility of families who regain the ability to care for each other.

There is no questioning the fact that the ability to care is learned by watching our parents.  Uncaring selfish parents produce angry teenagers who care for little but themselves; on the other hand, sensitive, caring parents tend to imprint their offspring with the same characteristics.

One thing is for certain:  we need to learn to care about each other, to encourage each other and to realize that every person alive has the need to give and receive love.  “Learning how to care is a life‑long process,” says psychologist, Perry Buffington.  “Even if you didn’t experience caring in childhood, you can learn how to care in adulthood…”

Take the time today to think about members of your family, classmates, work colleagues, neighbors—who needs a word of encouragement or some sort of practical help?  Take the time to care. Your kids are watching.  The world is watching.

Resource Reading:  Ephesians 4:29-32