Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6). That’s a great Bible verse, but how do you really do that, in the heat of problems in relationship?

Why is it so hard to talk things out in relationship, especially in a marriage? Probably, say Tim and Kathy Keller because it requires discipline.  The Kellers say that you have to “learn the discipline of asking yourself, ‘What is the goal of this message I’m about to communicate to my spouse? What’s my motive?'” The way you view your marriage relationship can make all the difference in the way you answer that question.

None of us is all that we were designed by God to be, and the Bible describes a powerful purpose for the relationship of marriage.  “According to Ephesians 5, the purpose of marriage is to help your spouse become his or her “future glory” self through sacrificial service.” Without this motivation, I may use my words to get what I want, or to simply prove my spouse wrong.

If you have a spouse, you have a ministry. You aren’t responsible for bringing about your husband or wife’s “future glory,” but God’s will is that we say yes, to being used by Him by submitting our words–our very lives, to be poured out in sacrificial love. It’s saying, write the Kellers, “He loved me in order to make me lovely, and I’m going to do that for you.”[1]

[1] Keller, T., & Keller, K. (n.d.). Cultivating a Healthy Marriage:  Planning and Planting. Gospel in Life.com Retrieved June 21, 2022