Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted Matthew 5:4

There are times when we think that ignoring pain or loss will make it disappear, even when we’re simply suppressing it.

Evan was visiting his grandmother who suffered with dementia. She needed help feeding herself but as he helped her, she began to choke.  Despite his desperate efforts, Grandma slipped into the presence of Jesus moments later. Evan’s never been able to talk about it since.

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).  He was really telling us that where there is no grief, there can be no comfort or healing.  When tragedy strikes, there are three simple practices, based on what Jesus said, which can help.

#1:  Externalize your grief.  Yes, talk about the pain and the loss.  It’s OK to shed tears.  They’re an emotional relief valve.  Relive precious moments together.   Don’t inflict greater pain and guilt by playing the “what if” or “if only” mind game.

#2:  Internalize your faith.  This means that you keep on telling yourself what you know is true—that God does love you, that no grief or loss is strong enough to separate you from the love of God. He’s a refuge to whom you can turn and that someday you will understand.  He is enough and His grace is enough.

#3:  Eternalize your hope.   Are we someday going to be together again?  Yes.  Will God Himself wipe away our tears?   Yes.  The focus of the New Testament is really on an eternal tomorrow, and as you hold on to those precious truths, you eternalize the hope within you and find comfort.

Evan, I’m praying that you find that comfort soon.