And whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:27-8

Have you noticed that in relationships like marriage, true partnership is usually more desirable than fancy gifts or good looks?  Relationship experts point out that one of the most meaningful ways you can express love, is to notice!  There’s a lot of uninteresting work to the business of living and letting the one you love know that you see their actions fills a relationship tank up.

If you’re looking for ways to support your spouse and strengthen your relationship, or you’re struggling as to how to ask for help, here are some ideas:

In short, perceive, plan, and communicate. A lot of work within a home is mental work; noticing when the toilet paper is getting low, remembering to schedule doctor visits, planning meals.  These tasks carry weight because of the consequences of not addressing them in a timely manner.  Each scenario ends in an emergency if someone didn’t carefully attend to it beforehand.

But none of this is paid labor, so we sometimes brush it off as, “not work.” Even worse, this type of mental load may fall on one person in a relationship and go unnoticed by the other. If you realize that you don’t bear any of the mental work in your household, start helping today! Become diligent at noticing invisible tasks that are on the horizon. Plan ahead so you can contribute to their completion. Then communicate that you’ve taken care of something so that you can lift that burden from someone else’s mind. That’s true love.

 

Resource reading: John 13:1-5