Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9

Alfonso has two sons who are adults. He’s no longer the one to put bandaids on their scraped knees or buy videogames for their birthdays, but he wants to stay connected to his sons in a healthy parent-child relationship. Transitioning from the role of parent of children to parent of adults can be puzzling! Here are some thoughts:

First, pray faithfully for your adult children. Rest their lives in God’s hands. He is the healer of wounds we can’t touch, and He paves paths we haven’t foreseen. Second, listen to your children without trying to control their decisions or fix everything. Remind yourself that they’re learning and capable and can find solutions, even if they choose differently than you might. Ask, “Do you want me to listen, or do you want advice?” Putting it bluntly:  just don’t give advice unless you’re asked.

Third, show genuine interest and respect for who they are. Cultivate shared interests and express your pride in your adults. You can create an atmosphere with your adult children that’s like spending time with friends. Be open to new experiences!

Finally, continue to guide them by helping them find resources they need. Offer to babysit their children. Put them in touch with people you know who can offer advice that you don’t have or connect them in places you’ve never been.

This new dynamic may have you agreeing with the writer of Psalm 118 who said:  This is the LORD’s doing, and it is wonderful to see.” (Psalms 118:23)

 

Resource reading: Ephesians 1:17-21