A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Proverbs 17:17

We all have good days and bad days.  But when someone you love is suffering with chronic illness, bad days take on a whole new meaning.  We often don’t know what to do or say.

The Bible tells us that a friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17) and here are some great ways to start a conversation in situations of chronic illness:

1. Don’t offer unsolicited medical or lifestyle advice. Your ill friend has been consulting lots of medical experts. But you can ask if they’d like you to forward any news you might see about potential new treatments.

2. Do offer concrete help beyond, Is there anything I can do? Instead, you can say: I’m going to the store. What do you need?  Do you need a ride anywhere?  Would you like me to take laundry to wash for you?

3. Don’t say things that minimize their illness, like You don’t look sick! If you ask, How are you doing today? be willing to sit and really listen with an I’m so sorry or… to say nothing at all.

4. Keep inviting your ill friend to gatherings, even if you think they’re unlikely to attend. Not being invited hurts even if they plan to attend but have to cancel. Another idea is to suggest a night in at their place, with all the arrangements taken care of by you.

5. Saying, I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you, speaks love in volumes.[1]

 

Resource reading:  Galatians 6:2

[1] Https://www.panfoundation.org/app/uploads/2021/04/6-Tips.pdf. Pan Foundation, 2021. Pdf.